Considering Unknown Unknowns in Potty Training

There’s a lot you need to think about when it comes to potty training your child. But, knowing what you need to consider is more than half the battle. Don’t worry, though, we’ve got you covered on all those odds and ends you probably haven’t thought about in the lead-up to this big milestone.

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

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I'm going to be talking about some considerations you'll want to keep in mind and ask yourself about before you start potty training your child. So in general, there's just a lot of questions you might you'll need to think about, but that you might not necessarily think of until you get after it. So that's what this video is going to do.

We're going to try to help you just. Examine what questions those might be before you get started. So, first off boys, potty training boys is different than girls. A little bit, obviously their anatomy is different. So are you going to potty train? If you have a boy, are you going to potty train him to stand up or sit down?

Or are you going to start with staff sitting and then progress to standing? This is just something to think about. I don't have the right answer. What I do know is that a lot of boys want to mimic the older guys in their life. So whatever a big brother does, whatever dad does, they're probably gonna want to mimic that right away.

Now, when it comes to messages, um, sitting down and can be a little easier, especially in the beginning, as they're just trying to get the hang of things. Um, one thing that makes it a lot easier on boys is just being able to actually go outside in the backyard or whatever. Boys have the added advantage of, and fun of being able to pee on trees or sticks or whatever.

So just something to think about. If you're a boy parent thinking about how you're going to do that with your kid also, are you going to let your kid go naked? A lot of parents will do this really in any method. It's really common with parents who do like the three-day method, because. They basically say no more diapers and their child really needs to learn what wetness feels like immediately as they feel like their bladder release, things like that.

If you do let your child go naked, obviously you need to think about a couple of things like how you're going to protect your house, like your furniture. Um, If they're outside, you know, you got to get sunscreen on, keep them obviously safe, do that in a safe space where there's not, you know, other people watching, um, just some considerations like that, even seasonal considerations.

You know, if you live in a place where there's warmer months and colder months, and you do want your child to be able to go naked, Um, maybe you want to wait to potty train a little bit, or if they're in the house, obviously turning the thermostat up. Um, so just some things to consider with nudity and potty training.

Also a lot of parents wonder, is there an ideal potty schedule? So really there's no one ideal potty schedule. Again, every human being is unique and your kid is totally unique too, but you can start to look at their natural rhythms a little bit. Start to notice when they're most likely to pee when they're most likely to poop.

And if you can be consistent with certain things that cause them to pee and poop, like, um, after meals with beverages, if you can be really consistent on the timing, you can start to predict a little, um, more when they're gonna need the bathroom, uh, time with naps. Obviously try to keep that consistent as well.

Just so that they're. You know, children love routines and their bodies respond well to routines. So once you get in your groove, you know, try to stick with it, especially during the first few weeks of potty training. Um, pull-ups another question we get a lot or see a lot is if pull-ups are really worth it, generally speaking, um, most of us feel like pull-ups really aren't necessary.

It's basically a glorified diaper. But if it works for you, if your kid's excited about it, then have at it. There's no reason not to necessarily other than it might take them a little longer to realize, oh, when my bladder feels better and there's wetness there. Uh, that, that means I should have gotten to the potty.

So they might not realize that if the pull-up wicks the moisture away, um, same thing. That's one of the reasons why a lot of parents let their kids go nude it's because there's this immediate cause and effect, essentially I'm wet. I need to go to the. Another question. A lot of parents have is how many bowel movements are normal each day.

That really depends on your kid. Um, globally, the average depends or really ranges from, and this is with adults to going three times a day to every three. Of course, we like to see children going once every day, but that might not be what's normal for your kids. So just keep an eye out for what is normal for them.

Um, and know that if they poop more than three times a day, that usually means diarrhea. And if they poop less than four times a week, that usually means they're constipated talking about diarrhea for just a minute, because that's also another issue that comes up in potty training. If your kid has an upset stomach, Have a lot of grace and patience with them.

I know I've been there. I know it can be so frustrating when they, you know, go in their panties or whatever, but yeah. Even some adults wish they had a diaper on. So just keep that in mind. It's a special circumstance. Support them, love them, try to help them to get to the bathroom in time and, you know, figure out what's causing it.

Kids get diarrhea all the time or often. So if there's something causing it, obviously try to rectify the situation. Um, another question we see is when you're on the go. So what happens if you, you know, we're running errands or you're taking a road trip? Um, the best thing you can do is. I mean, try to give your child a couple of days where they're securing home before you go out, but then take like a 20 minute outing or something.

Go, I dunno, walk down the street for a few minutes and then come back and just really, you know, congratulate your child on staying dry. But when it's time to embark on one of those bigger outings, be prepared to go into the public restroom. Each stop you make, if you're doing a lot of errands, um, if you're on a road trip, maybe think about having a travel potty so that you're not like in this rock and a hard place where you're 30 miles out from the nearest gas station, you know, have a travel potty where you can pull off on the side of the road, contain all that needs to be contained in a, you know, special travel potty.

That's what's nice about those is things aren't going to slosh around. And then you can dispose of it when you do get to that next bathroom. Um, of course having a change of clothes on hands, or like three paper towels, cleaning supplies, and extra towel for the car seat, you know, just, just try to prepare in advance and don't rearrange plans necessarily try to go about, you know, your normal plans and just make accommodations for your big potty nester and lastly, or a second time.

Um, public restrooms. That can be like a huge, oh my gosh. I'm so not looking forward to that moment. Um, I definitely was that way, but it's a fact of life you're going to need to go to the bathroom on the go as is your kid. Try to make it. Less scary as possible. You know, some of those bathrooms can flush really loudly or like spray water everywhere.

So prepare your child ahead of time. Have a conversation ahead of time and just say, you know, we keep our hands to ourself when we're in the public restroom. So that you're not in there, uh, being like, oh my gosh, this is gross. Don't touch anything. I've been that parent. And I've learned that that is not the best thing for my child.

If you can try to go into the wheelchair bathroom, just because there's more space in there and you might feel a little more comfortable that your child's not going to be like brushing up against the shower stall or the disposal boxes, things like that. Finally, if you have a child with special needs, obviously there's a wide range of developmental considerations when it comes to potty training.

So I can't speak to every need here, but generally speaking, the signs of readiness for potty training are the same across the board. So depending on what type of, you know, circumstance your child has, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, um, you're probably going to just need to be a little bit more sensitive to watching for those signs, you know, you know, your child best.

Um, so just keep an eye out for those signs. Possibly those signs are going to come a lot later, uh, than other children. That's perfectly fine. And working with a pediatrician, a potty expert, someone who understands. What condition, you know, they have or what, uh, additional care they need can be really useful.

So definitely reach out for support, no matter what type of child you had reach out for support. And certainly lean on us here at the potty academy. We're here to answer any of your questions, no matter how obscure they are. About potty training and just kind of having little people in your life in general.

So please drop a comment below. Please feel free to reach out to us in our community or send me a video. Happy to answer any questions at all. Thank you.}
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Some additional details you might not have thought of yet

Written by:

Julia Walker

And reviewed by:

Nurse Julia

updated:

6/28/2023

time to read:

min

Key Take aways:

Surprisingly, there are a lot of things you will want to consider when you start potty training
Parents of boys will have a few different considerations from girls
The weather outside may dictate how you potty train
Things to think about when you finally decide to venture outside the house with your little potty master
Be positive, flexible, supportive, encouraging, and have fun!

Checklist

article summary: Choosing when to start potty training is perhaps the first big decision you will make when it comes to embarking into this phase of child-rearing. And, when it comes to deciding when the right time is, you will want to ask yourself several questions to help determine if the experience will be positive and successful for your kid.

Parents of boys will have different considerations than girls. For example, should they be trained only to sit down, or do you intend to have them learn to pee standing up? There can also be seasonal implications to potty learning. Many parents have their child go nude during potty training so they can experience the immediate cause and effect of bathroom duties (i.e. my feet and the floor are wet, so that urge I felt must mean I need to go to the potty). However, going without clothes can be harder in colder weather or when your schedule is busier, such as the fall.

Between making potty schedules, potty training outside, and preparing for being on the go, we’ll help you forecast anything that can interrupt your plans.

main article

Boys: Standing up or sitting down?

The American Academy of Pediatrics says boys are often encouraged to sit down to get familiar with the process and to keep the mess down. They will likely begin to copy their fathers and friends quickly. Hopefully, by then they have the process down and can focus on aiming.

A note for standing boys: Check how quickly and easily your toilet seat falls—show your son how to make sure it is fully raised and will stay there before he begins. Also, consider putting a few cheerios in the center of the toilet to give him a target to help keep the mess down.

Are you planning on letting the kid go naked?

Letting your kid go commando can be a great way to help them instantly identify when they go to the bathroom. Why? Because diapers, pull-ups, and underwear often don’t give a child the feeling that something is amiss right away. After all, they have been using a diaper their whole life. So, being naked can instantly trigger them to recognize that their legs are wet or something plopped down between their feet.

If you are able to let your kiddo go naked, there are a few things you will want to do to keep messes at bay. For starters, protect your home interior by:

Rolling up rugs
Buying a cheap shower curtain for the couch
Make a play space in your house that is near the bathroom and off the carpet.

Keep in mind, not all kids like to be naked, or the temperature of your house may not be conducive to full-frontal nudity. If that is the case, let them wear a t-shirt or short dress that doesn’t get in the way of potty time.

Are you going to let the kid be naked outside?

Being in the buff outside is often a win-win for both you and your kid. You won’t be so worried about messes in the house and your kid will have a blast.

Being naked outside can be especially beneficial for boys because they can learn to go while standing without worrying about making a mess and upsetting the adults. Furthermore, boys often get bored with performing the same task over and over, so peeing outside on a tree or patch of grass can be a nice change of pace from spending time in the bathroom.

Of course, being nude outside does present a few additional challenges. Weather and privacy-permitting, make sure to:

Sunscreen your kid regularly, or have them wear a sun shirt and hat
Bug spray as needed
Be prepared if they need to poop, such as keeping a child-sized potty and wipes outside. ‍

Is there an ideal potty schedule?

Nailing down an ‘ideal’ potty schedule is one of the biggest tasks for potty training parents. The fact is, you need to create a schedule around your child’s natural rhythms. Forcing them to poop in the morning when they are more likely to go after lunch will frustrate both you and your kid.

Start with observation.

To tap into their natural rhythms, begin by observing when they most often go to the bathroom. Do they fill their diaper immediately after a meal, or are they more likely to go after playing for a bit? Also, watch for their signs. Does your kid migrate to a specific place when they have to poop, or do they start tunning around? Take note of those cues so you can start to help your kid head to the potty when they exhibit predictable signs.

Create a consistent routine with meals, play, and rest.

You and your child will equally benefit from having regular meals and rest times. That way, you can also integrate regular potty breaks and anticipate when they might be inclined to use the potty.

Think about upcoming plans that may derail your potty goals.

Vacations, long car trips, schedule changes, or big events can interfere with your potty learning progress. Thus, it may be beneficial to wait to start the process until after the schedule conflict passes. For example, air travel often presents a new set of challenges for potty trainers, such as quick access to bathrooms, irregular meal and drink times, and a fasten seat belt sign that won’t turn off.

Alternatively, these events can also be a great goal for you and your kid if you want to tackle potty training beforehand. However, do not be afraid to pause potty learning if it seems like it is going to cause any stress for you or your kid.

There is no need to make things hard on either of you. You have our permission to let it take as long as it takes.

Are pull-ups an asset or a setback?

There is debate among parents and child experts about whether or not pull-ups should be a natural part of the potty training process. That is, some people believe a child should go from diapers to pull-ups to using the potty. Others find wearing a pull-up just prolongs the process. Whether you want to transition to pull-ups or not is really a child-specific decision.

Pull-ups can make a child feel like they have a little more independence than diapers without the risk of accidents. However, they also offer the same moisture-wicking technology as diapers, which doesn’t help the child learn to associate the need to pee with the outcome: peeing and feeling wet.

Most pediatricians will agree that it is best to get out of pull-ups as soon as possible. That is, of course, easier said than done. If your child resists giving up their pull-up or diaper, don’t force them. Just back off and try again in a few weeks.

How many bowel movements a day is normal?

Every person has their own pooping pattern, so what is normal for one kid may differ from the next--even among siblings. Ideally, most children should poop once a day. But, some children do go every other day. If your child has been constipated in the past, pooping once daily is a good goal.

General rules of thumb when it comes to the normal number of bowel movements:

Pooping 3 or more times a day is considered diarrhea (and may also be the result of constipation)
Pooping less than 4 times a week is often a sign of constipation

How to handle diarrhea

Learning how fast you may need access to a bathroom with diarrhea is a tough lesson to learn. And let’s be real: many adults wish they could use a diaper as a backup plan when they have diarrhea.

Give your kiddo a lot of grace and encouragement when they have an upset stomach. That may look like forgoing potty training for a few days until their stomach goes back to normal, or offering them a pull-up to help them in their efforts to get to the potty.

Keeping your child’s diet pretty consistent and full of fibrous, healthy foods can help keep their bowels more regular. Similarly, drinking plenty of fluids can help prevent your kid from cycling between diarrhea and constipation. ‍

For When You Are On The Go

A big milestone with potty learning is being able to leave the house without a diaper. And for parents and kids, this can feel pretty daunting, especially when you do not have access to all of your potty supplies in the cleanliness of your own home.

Start by taking a small trip away from home, such as down the block or to the post office. Try to limit it to about 20 minutes, so that your kid has a high chance of staying dry. Maybe then escalate your outing to a friend’s house.

Make it a point for everyone in the family to go to the bathroom before leaving the house. If your child sees you doing it, they will learn this is just part of the process of getting ready to leave home.

Always keep a “go-bag” handy that has a few essential items if you get in a bind while you are away from home. Think about including:

An extra change of clothes (...or two)
Wipes
Disposable plastic bag (like from the grocery store)
Paper towels
A towel (for the car seat, or to lay on a not-so-clean surface if you need to lay your child down)

For longer car trips where public restrooms are not readily available, you may want to bring your child’s potty.

Bear in mind, it is not uncommon for kids to regress when their environment changes. Being able to anticipate this can help both you and your child feel okay when things don’t quite work out.

How To Take On Public Toilets When Potty Learning

Most parents fear the first few trips into a public restroom when their child is learning the ropes with the potty. Primarily, you are both out of your home environment and everything feels (and generally is) gross. So, not only are you trying to tackle using the potty successfully, but you are also demanding that your child does not touch anything.

Here are a few tips that can help you master public toilets while potty learning:

Use a public bathroom as early as possible to overcome any fears about going out in public during this phase
Try to go into a larger stall if there is no one else in need of it at that time (like someone wheelchair-bound)
Dress your child in easy-to-remove clothing, such as elastic waistbands or dresses
Hold your child while they are seated
Prepare them for any automatic flushes, as that can be startling (and wet). If your child is worried about automatic flushing sensors, throw a sticky note in your bag to cover it until your child is finished.

Potty Learning For Children With Special Needs

Tackling potty training can be particularly complex for parents of children with special needs. Yet, this milestone can be especially powerful for children with physical, developmental, or intellectual disabilities. Moreso for children with special needs, potty learning can be a celebration of their overall growth and can make a big impact on their self-esteem.

Signs of readiness are the same for all children, so keep your eye out for cues that your child is ready to begin. Before embarking on your child’s potty learning journey, lean into the help of your child’s pediatrician, as they can assess your child for physical signs of readiness. Leaning into other trained experts and support groups can help you and your child feel encouraged and empowered.

All parents require a bit of emotional preparation when it comes to starting the potty learning process. However, parents of children with special needs may need further emotional readiness, as it can take longer and some children do not become fully potty trained until age 5 and beyond. (Of course, many children may require lifelong potty support depending on their abilities.)

We don’t claim to be experts in anything save for supporting parents in potty learning. So, for more solid potty training information that is specific to different physical and developmental needs, head to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Considering Unknown Unknowns in Potty Training

Some additional details you might not have thought of yet

Key Take aways:

Checklist

Boys: Standing up or sitting down?

Are you planning on letting the kid go naked?

Are you going to let the kid be naked outside?

Is there an ideal potty schedule?

Start with observation.

Create a consistent routine with meals, play, and rest.

Think about upcoming plans that may derail your potty goals.

Are pull-ups an asset or a setback?

How many bowel movements a day is normal?

How to handle diarrhea

For When You Are On The Go

How To Take On Public Toilets When Potty Learning

Potty Learning For Children With Special Needs

Keep your pants on.

Story Time:

Additional Resources:

I Don’t Puma Pants!

We need your help!

Comments? Questions? Suggestions?
How can we make this page better?

Considering Unknown Unknowns in Potty Training

Some additional details you might not have thought of yet

Key Take aways:

Checklist

Boys: Standing up or sitting down?

Are you planning on letting the kid go naked?

Are you going to let the kid be naked outside?

Is there an ideal potty schedule?

Start with observation.

Create a consistent routine with meals, play, and rest.

Think about upcoming plans that may derail your potty goals.

Are pull-ups an asset or a setback?

How many bowel movements a day is normal?

How to handle diarrhea

For When You Are On The Go

How To Take On Public Toilets When Potty Learning

Potty Learning For Children With Special Needs

Keep your pants on.

Story Time:

Additional Resources:

I Don’t Puma Pants!

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Comments? Questions? Suggestions? How can we make this page better?

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